Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
