i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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