24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
