I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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