i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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