Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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