Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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