New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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