My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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