I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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