this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
