i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
