ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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