what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
