I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
