David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
