So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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