I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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