he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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