I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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