hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
