So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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