Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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