The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
