her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
