please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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