My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
