She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
