what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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