WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize