there's paper in my vomit.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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