Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
