I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
