After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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