Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
