Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
are you so shy because you have an std?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
