You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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