How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
