That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
