Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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