There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
