Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
