dude i'm inner monologue high
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize