Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she smelled like a LAN party
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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