Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
