Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
