Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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