i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
