our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize