the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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