if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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