god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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