we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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