Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
