bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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