i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
