im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
